Exiting the Echo Chamber Resolutions #3

Oh but it's hard. It's so hard. One day, at a time of blatantly ugly rhetoric against immigration, I was in the grocery store. The man ahead of me in line said to the checker, a woman with darker skin and an accent, "ICE is looking for you."  I said, "She's welcome here. You're not." 

The man exploded at me so loudly and threateningly I had to call for the manager, who asked him to leave.

I would have been right to "call in" his behavior. I was wrong to attack him personally. All I did was escalate the animosity between "his side" and "my side."

I've begun to work on this.  I try to pause before I speak. I rehearse scenarios in my head: if such and such happened, how would I respond? I review my mistakes and try to  write a better script for next time. I evaluate encounters I witness, to learn from others' positive and negative examples. I spend a little time daily in quiet meditation.  I read all I can find about talking across the divide. I make mistakes, forgive myself, and begin again.

I am looking forward to Loretta Ross's forthcoming book, Calling in the Call Out Culture.  Earlier in this blog I discussed several books that have helped me with dialogue. I made notes on the books  to review often, because it's hard to remember recommendations when I feel on the spot. 

Two other books have been generally helpful for me when I am angry at others' actions. 

The Book of Forgiving, by Desmond and Mpho Tutu
Creating True Peace, by Thich Nhat Hahn 
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